What ever happened to people leaving comments on this blog? WE encourage it from everyone except that one creepy guy who kept posting links to his creepy hacker blog. No thank you, sir.
If you read this thing ever in life...drop US a line sometime to let US know you care.
*Note: Updated to include Charlie in this situation. I'm told it's his blog too. We'll see about that.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Talents
This holiday season I agreed to make Pioneer Woman's infamous cinnamon rolls for our family's Christmas morning brunch. My friend Erin made them for us last year (right?) and Mom just loved 'em. With limited time in Minnesota prior to said event, I decided to make the rolls before leaving here, freeze them, then pack them on ice and carry them with me to the Land of 10,000 Awesomenesses-es.
Two nights ago after work, I got down to business. I made my very first ever dough which was, as Charlie suggested it would be, super fun to *PUNCH!* once it had risen. BAM! BIFF! DOUGH SMASH! I was feeling pretty confident about the whole process and my skill at making baked deliciousness. Unfortunately, my spirit was to be crushed when I got to the step where I had to roll out the dough. I guess it wasn't so much the rolling out of the dough, as it was trying to re-roll the dough into a cinnamon roll log of delight after it was filled with butter, sugar and cinnamon...and butter.
You see, in an effort to keep our energy bills to a minimum (and because C-Murda has an uncanny knack for keeping the house both too warm AND too cold: read as 81 degrees F in the summer at its coolest) my house is kept at a balmy 852,001 degrees Kelvin in the summer and 4 degrees Celsius in the winter. Sadly, in SE Texas it is (though technically the middle of December) still 75 degrees Fahrenheit outside, which a cold-countertop does not make. This complicated the process of making the nummy log treat. The dough stuck to the countertop and as I was rolling it (PW says to keep the roll tight ....i did not succeed) I got sad, frustrated and almost started crying. I swore out loud in my kitchen about how it was always so Gosh Darn (GD) hot in this house and I Stink at making things and WHY can't this dough just cooperate, I didn't have time to deal with crummy, no good, rats-a-frackin' dough.... it was a sight.
I can't really explain to you why I thought crying too might make this situation any better, but on the verge of tears, C-Murda stepped in and suggested I do something different. He's the smarter of the two of us. He gently 'splained to me how I probably didn't use enough flour on the countertop (as I whined about how I didn't know how much to use and didn't want to use too much and...and...AND...*sniff* with extra pout face), picked up a flipper-flapper thing (spatula?), doused it in flour and helped scrape the dough off the counter so I could roll it. My HERO!
With the first roll complete, I was equally as sad to the see the finished product in the pan. My rolls are the stuff jokes are made of: floppy, thin, lame. Still with a severe case of pout lip, Mo-Murda asked if I wanted him to try the next roll. Um...yes please?
Like a professional, he began tossing flour on the countertop like a Pizza Maestro! Fling! Sprinkle! Poof! It all landed nicely in his target zone (unlike my attempt, which literally had flour ending up on the teapot on the oven, in the crack between the counter and the stove, on the floor and in my hair), then he plopped the dough on the counter, rolled in into a perfect 10"x30" rectangle like the directions say with right angles and knife edge precision...shake some flour here, sprinkle some flour there...finshed the roll all neat and tight, sliced it perfectly and VOILA! Second roll done and not a tear to be shed anywhere!! How does he do it? I don't have a clue, but I am thankful he's got a talent for hot-counter dough rolling and wife consoling.
Next dough project?...it's all his!
Two nights ago after work, I got down to business. I made my very first ever dough which was, as Charlie suggested it would be, super fun to *PUNCH!* once it had risen. BAM! BIFF! DOUGH SMASH! I was feeling pretty confident about the whole process and my skill at making baked deliciousness. Unfortunately, my spirit was to be crushed when I got to the step where I had to roll out the dough. I guess it wasn't so much the rolling out of the dough, as it was trying to re-roll the dough into a cinnamon roll log of delight after it was filled with butter, sugar and cinnamon...and butter.
You see, in an effort to keep our energy bills to a minimum (and because C-Murda has an uncanny knack for keeping the house both too warm AND too cold: read as 81 degrees F in the summer at its coolest) my house is kept at a balmy 852,001 degrees Kelvin in the summer and 4 degrees Celsius in the winter. Sadly, in SE Texas it is (though technically the middle of December) still 75 degrees Fahrenheit outside, which a cold-countertop does not make. This complicated the process of making the nummy log treat. The dough stuck to the countertop and as I was rolling it (PW says to keep the roll tight ....i did not succeed) I got sad, frustrated and almost started crying. I swore out loud in my kitchen about how it was always so Gosh Darn (GD) hot in this house and I Stink at making things and WHY can't this dough just cooperate, I didn't have time to deal with crummy, no good, rats-a-frackin' dough.... it was a sight.
I can't really explain to you why I thought crying too might make this situation any better, but on the verge of tears, C-Murda stepped in and suggested I do something different. He's the smarter of the two of us. He gently 'splained to me how I probably didn't use enough flour on the countertop (as I whined about how I didn't know how much to use and didn't want to use too much and...and...AND...*sniff* with extra pout face), picked up a flipper-flapper thing (spatula?), doused it in flour and helped scrape the dough off the counter so I could roll it. My HERO!
With the first roll complete, I was equally as sad to the see the finished product in the pan. My rolls are the stuff jokes are made of: floppy, thin, lame. Still with a severe case of pout lip, Mo-Murda asked if I wanted him to try the next roll. Um...yes please?
Like a professional, he began tossing flour on the countertop like a Pizza Maestro! Fling! Sprinkle! Poof! It all landed nicely in his target zone (unlike my attempt, which literally had flour ending up on the teapot on the oven, in the crack between the counter and the stove, on the floor and in my hair), then he plopped the dough on the counter, rolled in into a perfect 10"x30" rectangle like the directions say with right angles and knife edge precision...shake some flour here, sprinkle some flour there...finshed the roll all neat and tight, sliced it perfectly and VOILA! Second roll done and not a tear to be shed anywhere!! How does he do it? I don't have a clue, but I am thankful he's got a talent for hot-counter dough rolling and wife consoling.
Next dough project?...it's all his!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Craftiness Part 3 - Le Bistro, Madame!
The last crafty project (finished just today) was to refinish the rusted and weathered metal and wooden bistro set. It was functional, but not in good shape.
"How hard can this be?" I thought to myself over a glass of pinot noir. "Not hard at all! I have seen them do this kind of thing on HGTV a billion times AND I'm a genius, so......get to gettin'!" And get to gettin' I did.
I donned protective ear, eye and breafs gear so I could live to see another day (although I wore the same flip flops as foot covering over the course of a few weeks during this project...don't ask me about this logic). I looked bad ASS, if I do say so myself. So after a short strut around the garage, parading my awesomeness to Charlie and the dogs, most especially, I went about my project full-force!
First I began to sand the heck out of the wooden slats. They were stable on the chairs and table, so I sanded what I could before taking them off the metal frame. I wanted that weathered grey color GHANDI! Charlie likes the weathered look, I do not. Since it was my project, what I sez goes :) I sanded like a mad woman and saw the makings of some nice wood underneath all that grey. Wood type TBD, but I none-the-less assumed teak for some reason. So, teak it was.
Since that small bit of success reinforced my image of awesomeness, I decided to detach the wood from the metal frame so I could finish sanding the other faces of the slats. No problem! 75 screws later, that was done. Man, my hamstrings were burning after that part...huh. Note to self: good form imperative to painless crafting. Once detached, I had to sand Sand SAND every piece. BLECH! I was dusty, sweaty and grumpy from an aching back (see previous note about form...), but forged ahead determined to make more progress.
Feeling confident from the hard work that I had already done with the wood, I continued working on the metal portion of the table. I used steel wool to hand-sand the funk and rust off every surface. This, my dear readers, was a terrible, god-awful task. I at least remembered all of my protective gear (including flip flops) again, so in case there was lead in the paint I wouldn't get some malady from it. Yay fun mask! Enter stage left: Mr. Marshik. Always helpful, he pulled out his Dewalt screwgun and affixed a metal-scraping super scraper to the end of it. MMMMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....i was in business! I power-tooled the chairs and table to the best of my ability...and THEN called it a night.
When I got back around to this project (a couple? days later), I primed the pieces with gray Rustoleum primer and then coated them with yellow Rustoleum paint. Yellow? Of COURSE yellow! I love yellow and the 3 shades of blue and 1 shade of green I also bought couldn't hold a candle to the fun yellow. Yellow = Happy Jaime! Each time I painted a coat of yellow on the pieces, I noticed how crummily I did the last coat - there were patches missing everywhere and I wasn't very diligent about reaching all the nooks and crannies. FINALLY, after maybe 5 coats (?) I raised the white flag of painting-ness and sprayed a coat or two of clear to seal the deal. I sprinkled in this painting project over a few days, for good measure.
Yesterday came and I only had two steps remaining before I could call this project complete and reclaim the garage stalls for our cars. I have been missing my garage parking capability. I rolled up my preverbial sleeves (still in flip flops) and oiled each and every piece of wood per the directions on the oil can (geez, I hope this is TEAK!). I lubed 'em up real good, let them dry and bid them adieu for the evening. Man, they looked so much better than the first day!
Finally today I pulled out the ol' screwgun and put all the pieces of the puzzle back together. Unfortunately for me I did not label which slats came from which chair, or the order in which I should put the slats back on...*sigh*...so that took quite a bit of time. Note to self: label slats next time, will save LOTS of time and aching hammies (see previous note SHOULD have applied, but I forgot about it...again). I put Humpty Dumpty back together again and at long last placed her, all finished, on my patio. Mwah!! Bellisima!
Before and After contained in slideshow. What do you think?
"How hard can this be?" I thought to myself over a glass of pinot noir. "Not hard at all! I have seen them do this kind of thing on HGTV a billion times AND I'm a genius, so...
I donned protective ear, eye and breafs gear so I could live to see another day (although I wore the same flip flops as foot covering over the course of a few weeks during this project...don't ask me about this logic). I looked bad ASS, if I do say so myself. So after a short strut around the garage, parading my awesomeness to Charlie and the dogs, most especially, I went about my project full-force!
First I began to sand the heck out of the wooden slats. They were stable on the chairs and table, so I sanded what I could before taking them off the metal frame. I wanted that weathered grey color GHANDI! Charlie likes the weathered look, I do not. Since it was my project, what I sez goes :) I sanded like a mad woman and saw the makings of some nice wood underneath all that grey. Wood type TBD, but I none-the-less assumed teak for some reason. So, teak it was.
Since that small bit of success reinforced my image of awesomeness, I decided to detach the wood from the metal frame so I could finish sanding the other faces of the slats. No problem! 75 screws later, that was done. Man, my hamstrings were burning after that part...huh. Note to self: good form imperative to painless crafting. Once detached, I had to sand Sand SAND every piece. BLECH! I was dusty, sweaty and grumpy from an aching back (see previous note about form...), but forged ahead determined to make more progress.
Feeling confident from the hard work that I had already done with the wood, I continued working on the metal portion of the table. I used steel wool to hand-sand the funk and rust off every surface. This, my dear readers, was a terrible, god-awful task. I at least remembered all of my protective gear (including flip flops) again, so in case there was lead in the paint I wouldn't get some malady from it. Yay fun mask! Enter stage left: Mr. Marshik. Always helpful, he pulled out his Dewalt screwgun and affixed a metal-scraping super scraper to the end of it. MMMMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....i was in business! I power-tooled the chairs and table to the best of my ability...and THEN called it a night.
When I got back around to this project (a couple? days later), I primed the pieces with gray Rustoleum primer and then coated them with yellow Rustoleum paint. Yellow? Of COURSE yellow! I love yellow and the 3 shades of blue and 1 shade of green I also bought couldn't hold a candle to the fun yellow. Yellow = Happy Jaime! Each time I painted a coat of yellow on the pieces, I noticed how crummily I did the last coat - there were patches missing everywhere and I wasn't very diligent about reaching all the nooks and crannies. FINALLY, after maybe 5 coats (?) I raised the white flag of painting-ness and sprayed a coat or two of clear to seal the deal. I sprinkled in this painting project over a few days, for good measure.
Yesterday came and I only had two steps remaining before I could call this project complete and reclaim the garage stalls for our cars. I have been missing my garage parking capability. I rolled up my preverbial sleeves (still in flip flops) and oiled each and every piece of wood per the directions on the oil can (geez, I hope this is TEAK!). I lubed 'em up real good, let them dry and bid them adieu for the evening. Man, they looked so much better than the first day!
Finally today I pulled out the ol' screwgun and put all the pieces of the puzzle back together. Unfortunately for me I did not label which slats came from which chair, or the order in which I should put the slats back on...*sigh*...so that took quite a bit of time. Note to self: label slats next time, will save LOTS of time and aching hammies (see previous note SHOULD have applied, but I forgot about it...again). I put Humpty Dumpty back together again and at long last placed her, all finished, on my patio. Mwah!! Bellisima!
Before and After contained in slideshow. What do you think?
Craftiness Part 2 - Glidey and Otto
Last post I mentioned the fun stuff I got from my friend, two items of which needed a little luvin' to make our house their home. Each project had its own challenges, so in true Jaime form I tackled the easier of the two projects first: recovering the glider set in a fabric to suit my taste.
The ottoman (named Otto) was easy enough to re-cover in swanky new duds. I just unscrewed Otto's top (the cushion) from the base, covered it with new fabric, stapled it on there like a maniac, and screwed Otto's top back on to the base. Simple! I didn't see the need to unstaple the old fabric, so I just covered right over it. Actually, to be straight with you, I tried pulling the 57,000 staples out and hurt my hands and fingers all along the way. So, after only 5 successful staple pullings in what seemed like an hour, I theraputically smashed them back into their staple holes and decided to perform a "cover-over-cover" method. Worked out fine, yay me!
With Otto sitting happily in his newfound swankiness, I was feeling quite proud of my craftiness and felt the motivation to continue on and re-cover the back padding of Glidey the Glider. Yes, everything gets a name in my house. This way I don't have to remember the real names of the things in my house, I can call them almost anything!
The original backing for Glidey was a bit trickier, two-fold. 1. I was running low on fabric, since I didn't fully prepare for this project and just bought "enh....a few yards should do the trick, right?" of fabric. I didn't realize how big the backing was. 2. The shape of the backing isn't a simple shape like a rectangle that even I could handle, it was more of a seashell shape with a flare toward the top AND it looked like it had been covered with the original fabric, sewn straight on top to make pretty seams and slice it into 3 pieces.
Hmmmm, I thought, how was I going to do this? I wanted to keep the fun seam action, but there was no way I was going to sew right through that thick foam with my measley machine. My plan of attack was to cut 6 sections of fabric to represent each "slice" on each side. Sew those guys together, then sew the sides together, slipcover that backing and stitch the bottom. Good plan, Me. Good plan... EXCEPT, as everyone knows about Me and crafts I get impatient and then sloppy. SOOOOOO, the first side had wonky seams and was too big, but the second side had even WONKIER seams but fit just right. Too frustrated to care anymore, I sewed those babies to each other, jammed the cushion inside the cover and hand sewed the bottom of the cover closed. Professional? Oh lordy no! Cuter than it was and functional? Yes sir!
After a little happy dance, I sat in Glidey and rested my feet on Otto's head with a smile on my face. Goooooooooo Me!
Glidey and Otto Before and After contained in slideshow. What do you think?
The ottoman (named Otto) was easy enough to re-cover in swanky new duds. I just unscrewed Otto's top (the cushion) from the base, covered it with new fabric, stapled it on there like a maniac, and screwed Otto's top back on to the base. Simple! I didn't see the need to unstaple the old fabric, so I just covered right over it. Actually, to be straight with you, I tried pulling the 57,000 staples out and hurt my hands and fingers all along the way. So, after only 5 successful staple pullings in what seemed like an hour, I theraputically smashed them back into their staple holes and decided to perform a "cover-over-cover" method. Worked out fine, yay me!
With Otto sitting happily in his newfound swankiness, I was feeling quite proud of my craftiness and felt the motivation to continue on and re-cover the back padding of Glidey the Glider. Yes, everything gets a name in my house. This way I don't have to remember the real names of the things in my house, I can call them almost anything!
The original backing for Glidey was a bit trickier, two-fold. 1. I was running low on fabric, since I didn't fully prepare for this project and just bought "enh....a few yards should do the trick, right?" of fabric. I didn't realize how big the backing was. 2. The shape of the backing isn't a simple shape like a rectangle that even I could handle, it was more of a seashell shape with a flare toward the top AND it looked like it had been covered with the original fabric, sewn straight on top to make pretty seams and slice it into 3 pieces.
Hmmmm, I thought, how was I going to do this? I wanted to keep the fun seam action, but there was no way I was going to sew right through that thick foam with my measley machine. My plan of attack was to cut 6 sections of fabric to represent each "slice" on each side. Sew those guys together, then sew the sides together, slipcover that backing and stitch the bottom. Good plan, Me. Good plan... EXCEPT, as everyone knows about Me and crafts I get impatient and then sloppy. SOOOOOO, the first side had wonky seams and was too big, but the second side had even WONKIER seams but fit just right. Too frustrated to care anymore, I sewed those babies to each other, jammed the cushion inside the cover and hand sewed the bottom of the cover closed. Professional? Oh lordy no! Cuter than it was and functional? Yes sir!
After a little happy dance, I sat in Glidey and rested my feet on Otto's head with a smile on my face. Goooooooooo Me!
Glidey and Otto Before and After contained in slideshow. What do you think?
Craftiness Part 1 - Behemoth Couch
Since Thanksgiving, I have taken it upon myself to become crafty. My dear friend Sarmad left the country for a new job and upon his departure he bequeathed certain items to me: a sleeper sofa, a glider and gliding ottoman set, and a bistro-sized patio set.
The sleeper sofa is in great shape, despite being 10+ years old, so up in the gameroom she went - displacing the 9 foot college couch (and slipcover!) I have had since forever. Sammie would miss her afternoon sleeping spot, but I am confident that in due time...say 17 minutes...she would take to the new sofa quite naturally. Charlie managed to get that beastly couch downstairs by himself - I'll never know with what magic he pulled that stunt - and with the enlisted help of Cory and his truck, the ol' couch was off to Goodwill for someone else who could really use it.
I took the other two items with the knowledge that with some love and caring they could be given life anew at the Marshik household.
You'll see details of those crafty adventures in the coming posts.
The sleeper sofa is in great shape, despite being 10+ years old, so up in the gameroom she went - displacing the 9 foot college couch (and slipcover!) I have had since forever. Sammie would miss her afternoon sleeping spot, but I am confident that in due time...say 17 minutes...she would take to the new sofa quite naturally. Charlie managed to get that beastly couch downstairs by himself - I'll never know with what magic he pulled that stunt - and with the enlisted help of Cory and his truck, the ol' couch was off to Goodwill for someone else who could really use it.
I took the other two items with the knowledge that with some love and caring they could be given life anew at the Marshik household.
You'll see details of those crafty adventures in the coming posts.
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